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When she sits down, I know for sure this is yet another of her endless meetings in search of true and lasting love. They don’t want any food for now, but I keep my eyes on them to make sure they don’t change their minds. My nosy ass is there within twenty seconds to see if she needs anything when I really just want to know what the hell went down. ” I ask sweetly with barely a trace of nosiness showing.

They shake hands as I ponder how little effort she seems to have put into her appearance for this first date. As I am watching the patio, I see her get up and move to another table for no apparent reason. “Well, we had an argument, but he was kind enough to leave this,” she tells me as she hands me a twenty-dollar bill.

This year, Hamm and Slate—which sounds like a butcher shop in Brooklyn I'd hate but then actually visit and love and it would be the only thing I'd talk about for weeks—have posed for photographs at parties, not as a couple, just as two people who happen to be at a party and mug it up for the camera.She is the neighborhood serial dater who uses our restaurant as a meeting place for her blind dates that she meets on various dating apps. She decides on the Blueberry Lemonade buts asks me to keep it very light on the vodka which I know will result in a very sour drink.I suppose it’s close to her apartment and it’s a safe and comfortable environment for her. Sure enough, two minutes after I place it in front of her, she asks me to add Sprite because it’s so lemony. Leaving gross socks everywhere, eating most of the potatoes from a roast, needing to watch football matches of teams they don’t even support, and shedding beard hairs in every possible place on Earth.But every so often, they do manage to pull something out the bag that makes it all worthwhile, and in turn prove that actually, they do still think you’re the best thing since sliced bread.

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