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The court was also told how the girl, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was 'excited' at the prospect of murdering Ms Edwards and is alleged by the prosecution to have acted in a 'rational, logical and cold' way in planning and helping to carry out the killings.

On the third day of a trial at Nottingham Crown Court, prosecutor Peter Joyce QC suggested that planning undertaken before the deaths 'ruined the theory' that the girl was suffering from a mental disorder which had impaired her ability to form rational judgments.

Protect her for the right husband, a man of respect and godly honor.

Give her a heart that desires to extend her hand to those in need.

But it wasn’t that she wasn’t giving me love, it just seemed to come at different times. I don’t think I noticed this consciously for a while. And after each time, there would be this look she would give me. It wasn’t something I could force, just something that would come about as a result of my giving. And how much I’m sure those messages are bouncing around in other people’s heads as well. Living Disney movies in our minds, and tragedies in our lives.

And even worse, it seemed that the harder I tried to be sentimental and lovey-dovey, the less it was reciprocated. Or, once we had a daughter, when I shared the responsibility of watching over her. Because as our marriage progressed, I found myself offering to help out around the house more and more. It took me longer than I care to admit to understand what was happening. Through giving, through doing things for my wife, the emotion that I had been so desperately seeking naturally came about. An emotion that, once had, somehow magically stays within a marriage forever. And I’m saddened to think about how much those messages bounced around in my head for so long.

I wanted to tell her on the first date, but I knew that would probably be weird. She kind of gave me this half-shy, half-amused smile. Like most Hasidic Jews (we both became religious later in life), our dating period lasted a very short time. I mean, how you can feel that burning love when you’re sitting at the table discussing how to use the last twenty dollars in your bank account? How can you feel it when you think it makes perfect sense to put your socks on the floor after you’re done with them, and she has this crazy idea that they need to go in the laundry basket? And now, as I’m a bit older and a bit more experienced with this relationship, I’ve finally come to realize something.

There was no way I could keep that dating fire burning as practicality invaded our lives. Something I haven’t wanted to admit for a long time, but is undeniable.

And let her be a woman of joy and laughter whose Christ-centered character is what makes her most beautiful (Proverbs 31).

(Okay, I admit that on occasion the word has been used to describe my behavior.

Still.) For many parents used to being in charge, deferring to the rules and wishes of our adult children and their partners is humbling.

I ended up editing a book on the subject to help me get a handle on my new role. Even if you’re an expert who has written 13 bestsellers on parenthood, your adult sons and daughters will assume you know nothing about childrearing. They loved me — I knew that — but did they trust me? If you’re the mother of the new father, you may not have the same access to your grandchild as the maternal grandmother, at least in the beginning. Anyhow, all grandparents — whether on the maternal or paternal side — are at risk of being shut out if they fail to observe any of these commandments.

Here are a few guidelines that — so far — have kept me out of hot water. Your advice and opinions will not be welcome, unless directly solicited. I was at the hospital when Isabelle was born and I thought we were all one big happy family. In the early days I felt as if I were auditioning for the part of grandparent. Didn’t I know that you never put a newborn down on her stomach? The dos and don'ts of childrearing change with every generation. Who knows what these things are, or how to operate them? In most families, new mothers are the primary caretakers of babies and they tend to lean on their mothers for support. Try to think of yourself as a relief pitcher in a baseball game: You're on the bench until your adult children call you up — and then you must do as they say if you want to stay in the game.




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